There will be no more firsts.

I feel more empty today than I've ever felt..if feeling empty is a feeling at all.

It's barreling down upon me like a mountain liquifying before my eyes. A year. A year I live every day in reverse. I dissect it month by month, trying to make sense. Trying to grasp what time has done. What you and I have done.

I'm still sitting on the sidewalk.

I'm still waiting.

I'm still.