Less than a week. Today was the last Tuesday I'll have with you. As much as I hate thinking in terms of 'last' it's so much better than realizing the endless 'firsts' that await. The first Tuesday without you, the first week without you, the first month, year...firsts are so much worse than lasts.

Every cell in my body is screaming "NO". It's manageable during the day but the moment my head hits the pillow at night it takes over. Screams that only a mountain of sleeping pills and a river of tears can lull into silence.