A month. You've been gone a month. I still don't believe it's true. Surely something as amazing, real, and wonderful as what we shared would bring you back to me. My heart is so in love with you it can't fathom moving on. I hate time, I hate that each ticking second takes you farther away from me. I'm holding on to you so hard, and fear that you're loosening your grip. I don't want to let go.

And I am tortured by free time. You were what I looked forward to, every day I woke up to you, every night I slept in dreams of you. But now there is nothing but endless free time. No part of the day is pain free.

I miss laughing.